Learn to Love through being alone
These winter months propel us into a space of solitude. People don’t really want to go out because they’re either too cold or they put all their budget into Christmas presents and dinners. Many of us are spending a lot of time inside and by ourselves and are completely dreading it.
However, I believe that we don’t have to fear being alone.
From young, we are told (especially as women) that we must have friends and partners around us to have a full life. To be happy. Now I’m not saying that friends aren’t important (they are essential in fact). However, many of us don’t know what good friendships and relationships look like because we don’t spend time alone. We are so scared of being with ourselves that we look to others as a sense of escape. However, using people as a way to avoid oneself is a recipe for disaster.
We end up in situations that we do not like, with people we do not love and living existences of pure frustration.
Over the Christmas period, I watched Eat, Pray, Love for the first time with my mum and sister. Honestly, if you want a masterclass in spending more time alone, this film is definitely recommended. The beginning of the film shows how the protagonist spends her time fixated on the men in her life and modifying herself to fit into their world, not ever really considering what her world looked like. She becomes so incredibly unhappy with the life that she has created that she completely abandons it, travelling across the world in search of herself and her path. The beginning of the film really stood out to me as it reminded me that we can never truly expect people to understand us if we do not seek to understand ourselves.
Whilst the winter months can be challenging for many of us, they can be a place of transformation when it comes to developing a relationship with self. The time alone spent during this season can enable us to observe the way we talk to ourselves and how we behave. Instead of lamenting this time, we can use it as a place for learning. Learning what we like, where we would like to go, who we want to be around us and how we want them to show up for us.
Journalling and the use of cards are the ways in which I was able to explore myself for myself and embrace winter as a place of reflection instead of frustration. Check out my favourite cards HERE and if you are looking for some guidance when it comes to exploring your relationship with yourself, our Self Love Journal is perfect for you!
